paul/seinfeld-scripts
1
0
Fork 0
Code Issues Pull Requests Packages Projects Releases Wiki Activity

Initial commit of scripts

Browse Source
This commit is contained in:
paul
2020-02-05 23:51:01 -05:00
commit 04689fafad
179 changed files with 175796 additions and 0 deletions
Download Patch File Download Diff File Expand all files Collapse all files
TheBoyfriend2.htm
+760
View File
@@ -0,0 +1,760 @@
<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Transitional//EN" "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-transitional.dtd">
<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml"
xmlns:og="http://opengraphprotocol.org/schema/"
xmlns:fb="http://www.facebook.com/2008/fbml"><!-- InstanceBegin template="/Templates/seinfeld.dwt" codeOutsideHTMLIsLocked="false" -->
<head>
<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8" />
<META NAME="AUTHOR" CONTENT="Doctoroids" />
<META NAME="COPYRIGHT" CONTENT="&copy; 2002-2010 Doctoroids" />
<!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="doctitle" -->
<title>Seinfeld Scripts - The Boyfriend (2)</title>
<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
<link href="support-files/seinfeld.css" rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" />
<!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="docdescription" -->
<meta name="description" content="Want to know what Kramer told Seinfeld? Read the full scritpt of
The Boyfriend (2). Full Seinfeld scripts and episodes" />
<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
<!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="dockeywords" -->
<meta name="keywords" content="the boyfriend, boyfriend, seinfeld scripts, seinfeld, seinfeld episode" />
<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
<script type="text/javascript">
window.google_analytics_uacct = "UA-16472669-1";
</script>
<link rel="image_src" href="images/seinfeld-share.jpg" />
<script type="text/javascript" src="http://s7.addthis.com/js/250/addthis_widget.js#username=doctoroids">var addthis_config = {data_track_clickback: true};</script>
<!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="head" -->
<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
<!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="pagetype" -->
<script type="text/javascript">
var pageType="CONTENT";
</script>
<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
<script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/plusone.js"></script>
<meta property="og:site_name" content="SeinfeldScripts"/>
<meta property="fb:app_id" content="164823560224402"/>
<meta property="fb:admins" content="824270386"/>
<!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="ogdata" -->
<meta property="og:image" content="http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/images/seinfeld-cast.jpg"/>
<meta property="og:title" content="The Boyfriend (2)"/>
<meta property="og:type" content="tv_show"/>
<meta property="og:url" content="http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheBoyfriend2.htm"/>
<meta property="og:description" content="Want to know what Kramer told Seinfeld? Read the full scritpt of The Boyfriend (2). Full Seinfeld scripts and episodes"/>
<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
</head>
<body>
<div class="wrap">
<div class="head_title">
</div>
<div id="menu">
<ul>
<!-- **** INSERT NAVIGATION ITEMS HERE (use id="selected" to identify the page you're on **** -->
<li><a href="index.html">Home</a></li>
<li><a href="seinfeld-scripts.html">Scripts</a></li>
<li><a href="episodes_oveview.html">Episodes</a></li>
<li><a href="seinfeld-characters.html">Characters</a></li>
<li><a href="buy-seinfeld.html">Gifts</a></li>
</ul>
<div class="addthis_toolbox addthis_default_style" id="menu_share">
<li><a style="padding: 8px 3px 8px 160px" href="http://addthis.com/bookmark.php?v=250&amp;username=doctoroids" class="addthis_button_compact">Share</a></li>
<li><a class="addthis_button_facebook"></a></li>
<li><a class="addthis_button_twitter"></a></li>
<li><a class="addthis_button_googlebuzz"></a></li>
<li><a class="addthis_button_digg"></a></li>
</div>
</div>
<div class="underMenu">
<a href="http://community.seinfeldscripts.com">Click Here to join our new Seinfeld's fans community!</a></div>
<div id="content"><!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="main_content" -->
<h1>The Boyfriend (2)</h1>
<p><table width="300" height="250" border="0" align="left" cellpadding="0" style="margin-right:10px;">
<tr>
<td>
<script type="text/javascript"><!--
google_ad_client = "ca-pub-4355410371465348";
/* html-in_content-top_left */
google_ad_slot = "4619537930";
google_ad_width = 300;
google_ad_height = 250;
//-->
</script>
<script type="text/javascript"
src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js">
</script>
</td>
</tr>
</table><!-- BeginAdHead --><p><strong>Looking for a great gift idea for the holidays? <br />Check out our complete <a href="buy-seinfeld.html">Seinfeld Gift Guide right now</a>! Including <a href="seinfeld-t-shirt.html">T-Shirts</a>, <a href="seinfeld-dvd.html">DVDs</a>, and more!</strong></p><p>&nbsp;</p><script src="http://connect.facebook.net/en_US/all.js#xfbml=1"></script><fb:like show_faces="false" width="330"></fb:like><g:plusone></g:plusone><!-- EndAd -->
<br>
Transcribed by The News Guy(Mike) <br>
<br>
Jerry - Jerry Seinfeld<br>
Kramer - Michael Richards<br>
George - Jason Alexander<br>
Elaine - Julia Louis-Dryfus<br>
Keith Hernandez - Himself <br>
Rae Allen - Mrs. Lenore Sokol <br>
Richard Assad - Cabby <br>
Wayne Knight - Newman<br>
<br>
Written by: Larry David and Larry Levin <br>
Directed by: Tom Cherones<br>
<br>
<br>
[New York State department of Labor]<br>
<br>
MRS. SOKOL: Just sign here please.<br>
GEORGE: I know who it was too. It was the guy who interviewed me.
He was<br>
very threatened by me. Why else wouldn't he hire me? I could sell
<br>
latex like that (snaps fingers). <br>
MRS. SOKOL: Sign that.<br>
GEORGE: Who is this? (sees photo)<br>
MRS. SOKOL: It's my daughta'<br>
GEORGE: THIS is your daughter? My God! My God! I I hope you don't
mind my<br>
saying. She is breathtaking.<br>
MRS. SOKOL: Ya' think so?<br>
GEORGE: Ah, would you take this picture away from me. Take it away
and get<br>
it outta here. Let me just sign this and go. <br>
MRS. SOKOL: You know she doesn't even have a boyfriend.<br>
GEORGE: Okay, Okay. Who do you think you're talking to? What are
ya'&#133; you<br>
trying to make a joke, because it's not funny. I can tell you that.
<br>
MRS. SOKOL: I'm serious. <br>
GEORGE: It's one think to not give me the extension But to tease
and to <br>
torture me like this. There's no call for that. <br>
MRS. SOKOL: Would you like her phone numba'?<br>
MRS. SOKOL: Mrs. Sokol I, I don't know what to say. I, uh, where
should I sign this<br>
thing?<br>
MRS. SOKOL: No no no, Don't worry about it.<br>
<br>
[Fitzpatrick's Bar]<br>
<br>
ELAINE: So tell me more about this game SIX.<br>
KEITH: Well, there was two outs, bottom of the tenth, we're one
out away from losing <br>
the series.<br>
ELAINE: ooooh ahhh<br>
<br>
[Mike and Carol's Apartment]<br>
KRAMER: (to baby) Koochie koochie koochie koo<br>
JERRY: (to baby) Hello. How are you/ <br>
CAROL: So, wadda ya' think? Do you love her?<br>
JERRY: Yes. I do love her. (to baby) You have a very nice place
here.<br>
CAROL: So how do you think she looks like? <br>
KRAMER: Lyndon Johnson.<br>
CAROL: What? Lyndon Johnson?<br>
JERRY: He's joking.<br>
KRAMER: I'm not joking. She looks like Lyndon Johnson.<br>
CAROL: Jerry, I can't believe it took you so long to come see the
baby. I kept saying to <br>
Michael, &quot;When is Jerry going to see the baby?&quot;<br>
JERRY: I was saying the same thing.<br>
CAROL: Let's take a picture. Michael, get the camera.<br>
JERRY: Uh, you don't have to take a picture.<br>
MIKE: I don't know where it is.<br>
CAROL: It's in the bottom draw' of are dressa'. Hurry up! &#133;
He's such an idiot.<br>
JERRY: Jerry, You want to pick her up?<br>
JERRY: I better not.<br>
KRAMER: I'll pick her up.<br>
BABY: [cries]<br>
<br>
[George's car]<br>
<br>
CARRIE:Thank you for a wonderful time George. <br>
GEORGE: Glad you enjoyed it.<br>
CARRIE:I haven't had a Big Mac in a long time.<br>
GEORGE: &#133; millions and millions &#133;<br>
CARRIE:Would you like to come up? <br>
GEORGE: [pause] Would I like to come up? I would love to come up.
I, I'm fighting not <br>
to. Fighting! Unfortunately I uh have to get an early start tomorrow.
Gotta' get up <br>
and hit that pavement <br>
CARRIE:But it's Saturday. all the offices are closed. <br>
GEORGE: I got me an appointment with a hardware store. I'm not saying
I want to do it <br>
for the rest of my life, but, uh, hardware fascinates me. Don't
you love to make a <br>
key? <br>
CARRIE:Will you call me as soon as you get home? <br>
GEORGE: [pause] Tonight? <br>
CARRIE:Yes.<br>
GEORGE: Will I call you when I get home? ha ha What do you think?
ee, you kill me <br>
kill me <br>
CARRIE:Well. good night.[puckers up]<br>
<br>
[Mike and Carol's Apartment]<br>
<br>
KRAMER: Well it was an accident. Right Jerry it was an accident.
Ah, she's going to be <br>
all right. .. baby, baby, ah, baby.<br>
<br>
[Keith's car]<br>
<br>
ELAINE: Well, thanks for a nice evening. It was really fun.<br>
KEITH: Yeah, it was. [mind] Gosh, should I kiss her good night?<br>
ELAINE: [mind] Is he going to try to kiss me? <br>
ELAINE: I love Cajun cooking.<br>
KEITH: Really, you know my mom's one quarter Cajun.<br>
ELAINE: Uh, my father's half drunk. ha ha ha ha <br>
KEITH: Maybe they should get together. [mind] Go ahead. Kiss her.<br>
I'm a baseball player dammit.<br>
ELAINE: [mind] What's he waiting for? I thought he was a cool guy.<br>
KEITH: [mind] Come on I won the MVP in 79. I can do whatever I want
to.<br>
ELAINE: [mind] This is getting awkward. <br>
KEITH: Well, goodnight<br>
ELAINE: Good night<br>
[they kiss - REALLY KISS]<br>
ELAINE: [mind] Who does this guy think he is? <br>
KEITH: [mind] I'm Keith Hernandez.<br>
<br>
<br>
[Jerry's Apartment]<br>
<br>
ELAINE: Uh, who else? &#133; Mookie. Mookie was there. Do you know
him? <br>
JERRY: I don't know him. I know who he is.<br>
ELAINE: Hum, he's such a great guy. You should meet him. You know
he's the one <br>
who got that hit &#133;<br>
JERRY: I know. He got the hit in game SIX. So, so then what happened?
<br>
ELAINE: Nuthin'. Then he took me home. <br>
JERRY: So, did you two, uh, &#133; have uh, &#133;<br>
ELAINE: What?!<br>
JERRY: &#133; You know<br>
ELAINE: Milk? <br>
JERRY: No!<br>
ELAINE: Cookies?<br>
JERRY: Did he kiss you good night?<br>
ELAINE: I dunno.<br>
JERRY: What do you mean you don't know?<br>
ELAINE: All right. He kissed me. Okay?<br>
JERRY: Well, what kind of a kiss? Was it a peck? Was it a kiss?
Was it a long make <br>
out thing?<br>
ELAINE: Between a peck and a make out.<br>
JERRY: So, you like him.<br>
ELAINE: I don't understand. Before you were jealous of me. Now you're
jealous of <br>
him?<br>
JERRY: Ah, I'm jealous of everybody. <br>
[phone rings]<br>
JERRY: hello. Oh, hi. What's happening? &#133; what? oh um, sure,
&#133; um, yeah, okay, <br>
uh. I'll see you then. Yeah, yeah, Bye.<br>
ELAINE: Who was that?<br>
JERRY: That was Keith.<br>
ELAINE: What's going on?<br>
JERRY: He wants me to help him move.<br>
ELAINE: Help him move? Move what? <br>
JERRY: You know, furniture. <br>
ELAINE: So, what did you say? <br>
JERRY: I said yes, but I don't feel right about it. I mean I hardly
know the guy. That's a <br>
big step oin a relationship. The biggest. That's like going all
<!-- BeginAd01 --><!-- EndAd -->
the way. <br>
ELAINE: And you feel you're not really ready for,&#133;<br>
JERRY: Well we went out one time. Don't you think that's coming
on a little too strong? <br>
<br>
[Kramer enters]<br>
<br>
KRAMER: What's going on?<br>
JERRY: Keith Hernandez just asked me to help him move. <br>
KRAMER: What? Well, you hardly know the guy&#133;. What a nerve.
You see wasn't I <br>
right about this guy? Didn't I tell you? Now, you're not going to
do it are you? <br>
JERRY: &#133; I said yes. <br>
KRAMER: YOU SAID YES!? Don't you have any pride or self respect?
I mean, how <br>
can you prostitute yourself like this? I mean what are you going
to do? You're going <br>
to start driving him to the airport? <br>
JERRY: I'm NOT DRIVING HIM TO THE AIRPORT! ..<br>
KRAMER: yeah yeah<br>
JERRY: hey Kramer do me a favour . <br>
KRAMER: What?<br>
JERRY: Don't mention it to anybody.<br>
KRAMER: I wish you never mentioned it to ME. [exits]<br>
<br>
[George's car]<br>
GEORGE: I had a great time tonight Carrie. And I am going to call
you as soon as I get <br>
home.<br>
CARRIE: Don't bottha<br>
GEORGE: Bother, wa', what kind of bother?<br>
CARRIE: I would prefa' it if ya' didn'.<br>
GEORGE: Why? Is there anything wrong?<br>
CARRIE: It's over buddy. Done. Finished. So long. Good bye. Adios.
Sayanara. <br>
GEORGE: Why?<br>
CARRIE: I bin thinkin about it. You got no job. You got no prospects.
You're like Biff<br>
Loman. <br>
GEORGE: I went to the hardware store interview.<br>
CARRIE: You think I'm going to spend my life with somebody because
he can get me a<br>
deal on a box of nails? <br>
GEORGE: I thought were a team.<br>
CARRIE: If I ever need a drill bit I'll call you. [exits car]<br>
GEORGE: Carrie, could you do me a favour? Could you not mention
this to your <br>
mother?<br>
<br>
[Fitzpatrick's Bar]<br>
KEITH: Ya know I hate to brag but, uh, I did win eleven straight
golden gloves. <br>
ELAINE: [chuckles]<br>
KEITH: I wouldn't have brought it up but since you mentioned it.<br>
ELAINE: Ha, I didn't mention it.<br>
KEITH: Well I won them anyway.<br>
ELAINE: Well so what. I mean you played first base. I mean they
always put the worst <br>
player on first base. That's were they put me and I stunk. <br>
KEITH: Elaine. you don't know the first thing about first base.<br>
ELAINE: ha ha well I know something about getting to first base.
And I know you'll <br>
never be there. <br>
KEITH: The way I figure it I've already been there and I plan on
rounding second <br>
tonight at around eleven o'clock. <br>
ELAINE: Well, uh, I'd watch the third base coach if I were you 'cause
I don't think he's <br>
waving you in. You know I hate to say this but I think we're really
hitting it off. Get <br>
it? Get it?<br>
KEITH: Funny.<br>
<br>
[Keith takes out a cigarette]<br>
<br>
ELAINE: What are you doing?<br>
KEITH: What's that?<br>
ELAINE: You smoke?<br>
KEITH: Yeah.<br>
ELAINE: I didn't know you SMOKED.<br>
KEITH: Is that a problem?<br>
ELAINE: Uh, &#133;<br>
<br>
[Monks]<br>
<br>
JERRY: She likes him I mean she really likes him.<br>
GEORGE: How do you kn ow?<br>
JERRY: Who wouldn't like him? I like him. And I'm a guy.<br>
GEORGE: I suppose he's an attractive man, I , &#133;<br>
JERRY: Forget that. He's a ball player. MVP&lt; 1979. I'm making
wise cracks in some <br>
night club. This guy was in game six. They're a perfect match. They
like go <br>
together. They're like one of these brother and sister couples that
look alike. <br>
GEORGE: Hate those couples. I could never bee one of those couples.
There are no bald <br>
woman around. You know? <br>
JERRY: You know I know this sounds a little arrogant but I never
thought she would find <br>
anyone she would like better than me. Ya know, I guess I had my
chance and that's <br>
that.<br>
GEORGE: You know what I would like to do? I would really like to
have sex with a tall <br>
woman. I mean really tall. Like a like a giant Like six five. <br>
JERRY: Really? <br>
GEORGE: What was the tallest woman you ever slept with?<br>
JERRY: I don't know &#133; six three. <br>
GEORGE: Wow, &#133; god! You see this is all I think about. Sleeping
with a giant. It's my <br>
life's ambition. <br>
JERRY: So I guess it's fair to say you've set different goals for
yourself than say, Thomas <br>
Edison, Magellan, these types of people. <br>
GEORGE: Magellan? You like Magellan?<br>
JERRY: Oh, yeah,. My favourite explorer. Around the world. Come
on.<br>
GEORGE: Who do you like?<br>
GEORGE: I like DeSoto. <br>
JERRY: DeSoto? What did he do?<br>
GEORGE: Discovered the Mississippi.<br>
JERRY: Oh. like they wouldn't have found that anyway.<br>
GEORGE: All right, I've got to go down to the unemployment office.
Wanna take a <br>
walk?<br>
JERRY: No I can't I've got some stuff to do then I've got to meet
Keith at my apartment <br>
at three. I'm helping him move.<br>
GEORGE: What? The guy asked you to HELP HIM MOVE? Wow.<br>
JERRY: I know isn't that something? <br>
KRAMER: He's got money. Why doesn't he just pay a mover?<br>
JERRY: I don't know &#133; he's got some valuable antiques, He's
worried they'll break <br>
something. <br>
GEORGE: The next thing you know, he'll have you driving him to the
airport..<br>
JERRY: I'M NOT DRIVING HIM TO THE AIRPORT!!<br>
<br>
[New York State Department of lab or]<br>
GEORGE: I gave. I gave everything I could Mrs. Sokol. but nothing
was good enough <br>
for her.<br>
MRS. SOKOL: Sign here please. <br>
GEORGE: Ha, I don't know who she's looking for. I don't know. I'll
tell you something. <br>
She's very particular, your daughter. Very particular. What is she
looking for some <br>
big hot shot businessman? Well I've got my pride too. I'm not going
to beg her. <br>
MRS. SOKOL: All right just sign it. People are waiting.<br>
GEORGE: You, uh, you like baseball? [picks up baseball from desk]<br>
MRS. SOKOL: That was autographed by the '86 Mets. I saw every inning
that year.<br>
GEORGE: Funny, cause I happen to be very good friends with Keith
Hernandez.<br>
MRS. SOKOL: You know Keith Hernandez. <br>
GEORGE: Know him? Would you, uh, like to meet him?<br>
MRS. SOKOL: Oh, come on. Come on.<br>
GEORGE: I can produce Keith Hernandez right here within the hour.
<br>
MRS. SOKOL: All right. You got ONE hour. <br>
GEORGE: All right Mrs. S. I and my good pal Keith Hernandez will
be right back. <br>
[exits]<br>
<br>
[Same phone booth]<br>
<br>
[George sees large construction worker in booth and leaves. he hops
into a cab]<br>
<br>
GEORGE: 129 west 81st street and hurry.<br>
<br>
[same cabby stares at him]<br>
<br>
GEORGE: Or Not [exits cab] <br>
<br>
[Jerry's Apartment]<br>
<br>
KEITH: Better bring your gloves, it's freezing out there. It shouldn't
take too long. I'd <br>
say maybe, oh, four hours. Really though, Jerry, there's not that
much. First we got <br>
the bedroom, we got two dressers and the bed. <br>
JERRY: Is there a box spring?<br>
KEITH: What's that?<br>
JERRY: Is there a box spring?<br>
KEITH: Yeah there's a box spring but it's attached to the headboard
and we'll have to take <br>
that apart. Then we got the couch. <br>
JERRY: Is that a sectional? <br>
KEITH: Yeah. Twelve pieces. &lt;not clear&gt; &#133;coffee table. <br>
JERRY: Is that a thick marble?<br>
<br>
[&#133; Jerry and Keith start to laugh and Jerry walks behind Keith
so they don't make eye <br>
contact and break up]<br>
<br>
KEITH: Three inches thick. Got it in Italy. But the BIG problem
<!-- BeginAd02 --><!-- EndAd -->
is going to be the <br>
convertible sofa. You see when you move it it tends to open up so
it's going to be <br>
real difficult getting it down the stairs. <br>
JERRY: STAIRS??? There's no elevator? <br>
KEITH: Nah, it's a brownstone. Three floors. <br>
JERRY: I'm sorry I can't do this. I can't do it. I can't. It, it's
too soon. I don't know you. I <br>
can't help you move. I'm sorry. I can't. I just can't. <br>
<br>
[Kramer enters, sees Keith and does a double take]<br>
<br>
KRAMER: Hello.<br>
KEITH: Hello. <br>
KRAMER: Oh, you don't remember me. <br>
KEITH: No should I [continuity error: in fact he SHOULD from the
basketball game]<br>
KRAMER: Yeah, you should. I certainly remember you. Let me refresh
your memory. <br>
<br>
[Newman enters]<br>
<br>
NEWMAN: June 14th, 1987. Mets Phillies. You made a big error. Cost
the Mets the <br>
game. Then you're coming up the parking lot ramp. <br>
KEITH: YOU said, &quot;Nice game, pretty boy.&quot; <br>
KRAMER: Ah, you remember. <br>
NEWMAN: And then you spit on us. <br>
KEITH: Hey, I didn't spit at you. <br>
NEWMAN: Oh, yeah, right.<br>
KRAMER: No no no, well, then who was it?<br>
KEITH: Well lookit, the way I remember it [back to the grainy 8mm
film parody] I was <br>
walking up the ramp. I was upset about the game. That's when you
called me pretty <br>
boy. It ticked me off. I started to turn around to say something
and as I turned <br>
around I saw Roger McDowell behind the bushes over by that gravely
road. &#133; <br>
Anyway he was talking to someone and they were talking to you. I
tried to scream <br>
out but it was too late. It was already on its way. <br>
JERRY: I told you! <br>
NEWMAN: Wow, it was McDowell. <br>
JERRY: But why? Why McDowell? <br>
KRAMER: Well, maybe because we were sitting in the right field stands
cursing at him <br>
in the bullpen all game. <br>
NEWMAN: He must have caught a glimpse of us when I poured that beer
on his head. <br>
NEWMAN: It was McDowell.<br>
KRAMER: Oh boy. Uh, look uh, Keith, uh, we're sorry.<br>
NEWMAN: Yeah, I couldn't be sorrier. I uh.<br>
KEITH: look guys, don't worry about it, I uh, Well I guess I better
get going.<br>
KRAMER: Wait, uh what are ya' doing?<br>
KEITH: I gotta move.<br>
KRAMER: Want any help? <br>
KEITH: I'd love some. <br>
KRAMER: I'd love to help you move. <br>
NEWMAN: Me too. <br>
KEITH: Ok guys, we gotta be careful of one thing. Some of the stuff's
very fragile <br>
We're going to have to handle it like a baby. <br>
KRAMER: No sweat. <br>
<br>
[they exit]<br>
<br>
[phone rings]<br>
<br>
JERRY: Hello, &#133; oh hi Elaine .. what's going on &#133; no he
just left &#133; you broke up <br>
with him? &#133; ME TOO .. what happened? &#133; oh smoking you
know you're like <br>
going out with C. Everet Coope &#133; me &#133; nah &#133; I couldn't
go through with it &#133; I <br>
just didn't feel ready &#133; so what are you doing now? &#133;
Oh, great idea, I'll meet you <br>
there in like thirty minutes. Okay bye.<br>
<br>
[George frantically enters]<br>
GEORGE: Keith, Keith Wa What happened? Where's Keith? <br>
JERRY: You just missed him. he just left. What do you need him for?<br>
GEORGE: [out the window] Keith, Keith, up here. Can you do me a
favor? I need you <br>
to go to the unemployment office with me. I, I'm Jerry's friend
&#133; the guy from the <br>
locker room, &#133; I'm the chucker. It'll take five minutes. Wait.
Wait.<br>
<br>
[sits down]<br>
<br>
JERRY: Well Biff/ What's next? <br>
GEORGE: I don't know.<br>
<br>
[Tall girl enters]<br>
<br>
TALL GIRL: Excuse me. I was walking behind you and you dropped your
wallet. <br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
The End<br>
<br>
Jerry Stand up<br>
===========<br>
When You're moving your whole world becomes boxes. That's all you
think about is <br>
boxes. Boxes, where are there boxes? You just wander down the street
going in and out <br>
of stores. Are there boxes here? Have you seen any boxes? I mean
it's all you think <br>
about. You can't even talk to people because you can't concentrate.
Shut up I'm looking <br>
for boxes. Just after a while you become like really into it you
can smell them. You walk <br>
into a store. There's boxes here. Don't tell me you don't have boxes.
Dammit, I can <br>
SMELL them. I'm like I'm obsessed. I love the smell of cardboard
in the morning. You <br>
could be at a funeral. Everyone's mourning crying around, and your
looking at the <br>
casket. That's a nice box Does anyone know where that guy got that
box? When he's <br>
done with it do you think I could get that? it's got some nice handles
on it. And that's <br>
what death is really. It's the last big move of your life. The hearse
is like the van. The <br>
pale bearers are your close friends the only ones you could ask
to help you with a big <br>
move like that. and the casket is that great perfect box you've
been waiting for your <br>
whole life The only problem is, once you find it you're in it. <br>
<br>
<br>
<strong><big><big></big></big></strong>
<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
</div>
<!-- content -->
<div id="navBar">
<div id="upperBox">
<script type="text/javascript"><!--
google_ad_client = "ca-pub-4355410371465348";
/* html-nav_bar-top_small */
google_ad_slot = "4348143300";
google_ad_width = 200;
google_ad_height = 200;
//-->
</script>
<script type="text/javascript"
src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js">
</script>
</div>
<div class="leftnav"><br />
<ul>
<li><a href="index.html">Home</a></li>
<li><a href="seinfeld-scripts.html">Full Scripts</a></li>
<li><a href="http://community.seinfeldscripts.com/">Community</a> </li>
<li><a href="episodes_oveview.html">Episodes Guide</a> </li>
<li><a href="seinfeld-characters.html">Characters Details</a></li>
<li><a href="seinfeld-cast.html">Cast Details</a></li>
<li><a href="seinfeld-quotes.html">Quotes</a></li>
<li><a href="buy-seinfeld.html">Seinfeld Gift Shop</a></li>
<li><a href="festivus.html">Festivus Info</a></li>
<li><a href="seinfeld-superman.html">Superman References</a></li>
<li><a href="watch-seinfeld.html">Watch Online</a></li>
<li><a href="#">Search in site</a></li>
<form action="http://seinfeldscripts.com/search.html" id="cse-search-box">
<div>
<input type="hidden" name="cx" value="partner-pub-4355410371465348:0292184103" />
<input type="hidden" name="cof" value="FORID:10" />
<input type="hidden" name="ie" value="UTF-8" />
<input type="text" name="q" size="20" />
<input type="submit" name="sa" value="Search" />
</div>
</form>
</ul>
<p><a href="#" target="_top"></a><br /></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
</div>
<script type="text/javascript" src="http://www.google.com/cse/brand?form=cse-search-box&amp;lang=en"></script>
<script type="text/javascript"><!--
google_ad_client = "ca-pub-4355410371465348";
/* html-nav_bar-tower */
google_ad_slot = "3170809384";
google_ad_width = 160;
google_ad_height = 600;
//-->
</script>
<script type='text/javascript'>
if (pageType!="HOME" && pageType!="CHARACTERS" && pageType!="SCRIPTSINDEX") {
document.write('<script type="text/javascript" src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js"></scr' + 'ipt>');
}
</script>
<p &nbsp;></p>
<!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="bottomrightnav" -->
<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
<script type="text/javascript">
var pageHeight = document.documentElement.scrollHeight;
var bannerSize = 2300;
var headHeight = (pageType!="HOME" && pageType!="CHARACTERS" && pageType!="SCRIPTSINDEX")?1500:900; // in these pages there is no google adsense block below the navigation
var bannerRepeat = (pageHeight > (headHeight + 1500))?Math.ceil((pageHeight - headHeight) / 2300):0;
if (pageType!="SALE" ){
if (bannerRepeat > 0) {
for (i=1;i<=bannerRepeat;i++) {
document.write("<a href=\"http://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?u=439896\&amp;b=119192\&amp;m=16934\&amp;afftrack=seinfeldSideBanner" + i + "\&amp;urllink=search%2E80stees%2Ecom%2Fsearch%3Fpage%3D1%26q%3Dseinfeld%26type%3Dproduct\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"extlink\"><img src=\"images/seinfeld-Tshirt-banner-160x2300.jpg\" align=\"center\" width=\"160\" height=\"2300\" alt=\"Best Seinfeld T-shirts\" border=\"0\" /></a>");
}
} else if (pageHeight > (headHeight + 300) ) {
document.write("<a href=\"http://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?u=439896\&amp;b=119192\&amp;m=16934\&amp;afftrack=seinfeldSideBannerShort\&amp;urllink=search%2E80stees%2Ecom%2Fsearch%3Fpage%3D1%26q%3Dseinfeld%26type%3Dproduct\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"extlink\"><img src=\"images/seinfeldTbanner-160x800.jpg\" align=\"center\" width=\"160\" height=\"800\" alt=\"Best Seinfeld T-shirts\" border=\"0\" /></a>");
}
}
</script>
</div>
<script language="JavaScript1.2" type="text/javascript">
<!--
function noSpam(user,domain) {
locationstring = "mailto:" + user + "@" + domain;
window.location = locationstring;
}
-->
</script>
<div class="footer">
<p><a href="episodes_oveview.html">Episodes Overview</a> | <a href="seinfeld-scripts.html">Scripts</a> | <a href="javascript:noSpam('doctoroidsweb','gmail.com')">Contact</a></p>
<p>Copyright 2002-2011 SeinfeldScripts.com</p>
</div>
</div>
<!-- Kontera ContentLink(TM);-->
<script type='text/javascript'>
var dc_AdLinkColor = 'blue' ;
var dc_PublisherID = 141705 ;
</script>
<script type='text/javascript'>
if (pageType=="CONTENT") {
document.write('<script type="text/javascript" src="http://kona.kontera.com/javascript/lib/KonaLibInline.js"></scr' + 'ipt>');
}
</script>
<script type="text/javascript">
var _gaq = _gaq || [];
_gaq.push(['_setAccount', 'UA-16472669-1']);
_gaq.push(['_trackPageview']);
(function() {
var ga = document.createElement('script'); ga.type = 'text/javascript'; ga.async = true;
ga.src = ('https:' == document.location.protocol ? 'https://ssl' : 'http://www') + '.google-analytics.com/ga.js';
var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(ga, s);
})();
</script></body>
<!-- InstanceEnd --></html>